A Simple Gift: Mother's Day can be Bittersweet.

My daughter, unknowingly, gave me a precious gift this past Mother's Day. 

The day dawned bright and sunny as my husband and I prepared for church. My thoughts drifted to my mom, whom I miss dearly. She showed me a wonderful example of unconditional love and support in my life. Always a cheerleader but also a friend. I often prayed to follow her example, hoping I would also be a great mom to my three kids. 

Then my thoughts drifted to my son, Benjamin, whom we lost almost six years ago. My fifth Mother's Day without him. I miss him every day. Some days, the sharp grief brings tears to my eyes and closes my throat. On other days, the deep ache of sorrow lurks as a backdrop to my routine. As time passes, the sharpness fades, but the sorrow rests in the background of my mind.

But as my thoughts turned to my other son and daughter, gratitude overwhelms me. These two amazing adult children bring blessing and joy to my life. I am so proud of them both. 

Mother’s Day may be bittersweet, as it wrestles with the contrasting emotions of heartbreak and happiness. However, joy and sorrow can coexist. Memories of my loss may be painful, but I don’t want to diminish the joy of my living children by always mentioning my son in heaven. So, on this day, although Ben was in my thoughts, he wasn’t mentioned. 

The sermon spoke of Hagar’s distress in the wilderness and how God found her, acknowledged her anguish, and spoke life to her. She named him “El Roi”, in Hebrew, “the God who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13). In that same way, I knew God saw my sorrow and comforted me. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18 NLT)

Later that day, while enjoying a barbecue dinner together with the kids, complete with cake, we laughed and celebrated Mother's Day. After dinner, I requested a photo of my children and me. Without being prompted, my daughter ran into the house and grabbed a photo of her brother. 

As we stood on the lawn together, one living child on either side of me, and my daughter holding a photo of her brother in heaven, bittersweet tears stung my eyes. Her seemingly simple gesture comforted my heart. I know my son is not forgotten. He will forever be one of my children, a missing but integral part of our family. 

Do you have mixed emotions on Mother's Day? Remember that God is the “God who sees you,” and he longs to comfort you, too.